The 3 funnies

1. Whilst eating chocolate cake a little boy (8 ish) stood behind ben and stared and stared- ben proceeded to say very loud yum yum yum.
2. Nutter taxi driver on the way to auckland airport. Went through reds, went the wrong way, lots, and kept reversing the wrong way daown roads whilst singing to herself and rambling on.

3. and the best..
whilst in a bar and having a pint a man (relatively pissed) came up behind ben and put his hands on our shoulders and said "alright ladies can I sit here?", I thought he was taking the piss but he really thought that Ben was a girl from behind- and I keep telling him to get his hair cut.
In Sydney- flew first class?????? dunno why!

Evil Eggy Smells

Can you all go and do me a favour please.
1. Get an egg- the older the better
2. hard boil it
3. crack it open and mush it up
4. leave it for a week
5. stick it under your nose and let the smell waft in (heather if you read this remember the noxious smell of sampy the sandwich)

So once you have completed this task you will know what we have dealt with over the last few days- nope not ben and his bum!

We've been to Rotorua and the surrounding districts and have been into a thermal wonderland- hell what ever you want to call it. The area is all based in a volcanic crater and is seething with thermal springs, geysers, blowholes and warm springs. It's excellent. I think it's the best place we have been so far. The landscape is amazing lots of tropical plants and trees, snow topped mountains and then the rest of the countryside is steaming and mad. The only down side is that it STINKS of rotten eggs- really stinks.

Also went to glow worm caves which i think look like fairy lights- not convinced that they weren't!!

Ernie Becketts Fish and Chips.

So now we are promised tornadoes!!!!
Bus man's Holiday: This is what I seem to be having, mmm, cooking, cleaning, washing, driving and what does Ben do? nothing. Oh, actually read maps badly.
So the other day he attempted to make the bed. This was because he had ruined it by searching for something. Anyway I passed him the bottom sheet, no probs there, then the second sheet- you know the one you sleep under- this is where the problems started. He tucks it in at the bottom, as he did with the first and then said "I don't get it, where does the other end go?" (just to put this in perspective, when he lived at home he always had a sheet and a duvet) lets guess who has made his bed for the last god knows amount of years.
Anyway. We are now on the north island after a good crossing from the south. The weather was shite in Wellington but is ok now after hours driving to Napier. Napier the worlds capital of art deco.
On the way to Napier we got a stone in our window which cracked it, so we rang the fools who we hired the van off ((maybe we are the fools) actually BEN DID THIS) and they told us, after Ben arguing, to go to Palmerstone North for a newe windscreen- go to this garrgae and they'll sort you! Nope, they won't as they've never heard of us or the company and they ring them, and argue, and we have to go somewhere else!!! Day 5 of a garage.....
In Wellington we went to their National museum, Te Papa, and it was all about their heritage and where people came from. There is a small video screen that shows a few places in the UK where people have emigrated from and one of them is Laceby! So there is a short video of LAceby, grimsby- the dock tower, victoria mills and then ERNIE BECKETTS FISH AND CHIPS!!!!!! Well there you are- i'm upside down and bombarded by images of Grimsby.

P.S saw a Kiwi today.

XXXX

SO in the last two weeks we have had an up and down time. The weather has been all over the place. When we first got here it was raining and really unbearably cold, then we had some nicer days where it was ok and a little bit sunny. These were good and we went to the Glaciers and Milford sound- fjord really. Then it snowed, when we were in Milford sound it threatened to and did; resulting in the closing of the road. Thank god we did it by a bus trip. Then it was sunny all the way to Queenstown where it had obviously snowed the previous night. From there on we were lucky and have had mainly sunny days. When it rains it puts a real downer on the place and it's like being at home in a camper van.
So we moved on to the smelly springs at Hamner and it rained but because we went to the pools it didn't matter as they were really hot. THEN it snowed. The snow didn't start till bout 2 in the morning and followed all day rain so we didn't think it would last- ha ha ha
Driving in snow in a van your non to happy with is a right old laugh. Peops in England should pay the airfare here and then do driving lessons- it'd make us all a lot better. So up and down the mountains we went till we found the sun.
We're in Nelson at the moment and it's sunny sunny and sunny yeh. Thinking of going to the north island soon. Hopefully it is sunny there too. I HATE RAIN.
P.S Ben has a cold- boooo.
Here is a pic of a Kea they are parrot type birdies and really friendly and like eating shoes and clothes.

WARNINGS

wooo wooo wooo wooo wooo wooo wooo wooo wooo wooo wooo wooo wooo wooo wooo wooo wooo wooo wooo wooo wooo wooo wooo wooo wooo wooo wooo wooo wooo wooo wooo wooo wooo wooo
Last weeks warning: Tsunami.... 1st: keep away from beaches
1hr later: keep away from beaches for the next hr.
2hrs later: erm... down graded but the waves going to be 45cm high (TSUNASMI) mmmm??? - shouldn't take the piss as it hit other places.

Warning 2: SNOW- worst storms of year supposindly tonight----- i'm going to get snowed in!!!! YEH at a smelly thermal spring, if i stay much longer i'll smell of farts forever!!!!!!!!!!!!


Warning 3- TSUNAMI- didn't really listen this time- is everyone ok?

CAR BRA's

So your driving along and your front end is sagging- what do you need? A CAR BRA- available in a variety of sizes! You feel like time is getting you down- CAR BRA will solve all. 

WHAT  THE HELL IS A CAR BRA (I HAVE SEEN ONE AND STILL DONT KNOW) AND WHY WOULD YOU WANT ONE? 

So in NZ as previously stated. Let's catch you all up on life in the southern hemisphere. 

Saw Sarah and nick which was good and went for a drive around Christchurch. Quite a nice day- bought Ben a coat as the silly bugger came without one. 

THEN... The camper van strikes. 

When we picked the van of DOOM up it was running, 'Don't worry' they said 'it'll be ok, it's just been stood for a while!' 

So apart from being filthy and yuck- but you dont notice at first - off we went. Stopped for a night at a campsite, use the lights to read for half an hour- its a camper van you presume you can. quess what- it didn't start. 

Blah blah blah AA man comes out jump starts it. This happens for 4 days in a row whilst getting pretty pissed off eventually they agree to let us take it to a garge. 

'Oh your battery's too small!!!' says the bloke. Whoop de Whoop just what we needed and also the switch which runs the lights from the main battery and stops it running down is buggered and is draining the battery even when it is off!

So got a new battery but not a switch and so reading from mobily light- thank god it's got a proper light on it. 

Moving on -

the weather was crap crap crap for the first couple of days. (Sam like it was in somerset way on) but now it is lovely. Went to the  beach and a glacier in one day. Got slightly burnt (silly me) and one day there was lots of snow. 

Will add pics another time and update you on the better side of NZ next time.

Toodle Pip

Hol.